Hand Sanitizer
January 5, 2006
Although I was excited about the opportunity for our family to live in India for one year, I must say that I was a little apprehensive when it came to general sanitary conditions. Travelling for such a long time with a baby under a year old made me a little nervous because they don’t have fully developed immune systems and Nikhitita, like most 11 month olds, likes to explore the world with her mouth.
One of the things that surprised me in India is how friendly people are with babies. I don’t mean the “peek-a-boo” or the “goo goo gaa gaa” from a distance but outright picking up the baby, touching her hands, pinching her cheeks, etc. And the people who are so familiar range from the driver, to random people at the airport, to hotel staff from the guest relations representative to the travel agent to the chef to the attendants that clean the room, pick up the laundry, or bring room service. It was so alien to me at first but given that everyone does it, I am quickly gathering that this is the norm.
But I can’t say that Nikhitita doesn’t love all the attention. Almost as much as she loves putting things in her mouth is her love of people. She is unabashedly friendly to everyone she meets, with no discretion. It could be someone she has seen a hundred times or someone who she has seen for the first time. They both get her outstretched hand and ear to ear 6 toothed grin.
She has always been friendly, but in the U.S. although people always respond to her, their reaction is far more tempered. It is usually a wave or blown kiss, but from a cautious distance. The general demeanor in the U.S. is to be very wary of others’ personal space. I can still remember a time in the U.S. when I took my older daughter Sandrine to swim class. I intended to watch from the sidelines with Nikhitita but Sandrine refused to get into the water without me and by the second class I found myself in the pool with her. Nikhitita watched us contentedly from the side. However on one occasion she started crying and as I looked over to the side from the pool I was really surprised to see a woman pick her up. I quickly leaped out of the pool and made my way to them. The woman immediately handed Nikhitita to me and apologized profusely saying that she just felt bad that the baby was crying so much. This was the only time that a stranger had picked up or for that matter touched Nikhitita without my permission in the U.S. Of course there had been countless incidents in grocery stores, or the park, or the library where she “flirted” with others and they responded back but always with a look, or a gesture, or a word, but absolutely never a touch.
In our almost three weeks in India more strangers have reached out their hands to Nikhitita than had over the course of her entire life to date in the U.S. Needless to say, I am usually running after her with my little bottle of Purell hand sanitizer. I used to do this in the U.S. and I still do it in India. But what is it that we are so used to protecting ourselves from in the U.S.? Yes, hand sanitizer is there to protect us from germs when we don’t have immediate access to water and some good old fashioned soap. But I feel like the general reluctance in the U.S. to “touch” a stranger or invade their personal space comes less from a desire to keep things sanitary but more a desire to protect ourselves from others who we know nothing about and are taught to imagine the worst about. In the U.S., from the time they can understand, we indoctrinate our children not to talk to strangers or take things from them. All strangers are perceived as “unsafe”. Indians behave more like Nikhitita in that their view of strangers is positive, as nothing has tainted their opinions of them so far. Having grown up in the U.S., I know that I can’t go back to feeling this way. Sadly, once that innocence is lost there is no going back.
Although I was excited about the opportunity for our family to live in India for one year, I must say that I was a little apprehensive when it came to general sanitary conditions. Travelling for such a long time with a baby under a year old made me a little nervous because they don’t have fully developed immune systems and Nikhitita, like most 11 month olds, likes to explore the world with her mouth.
One of the things that surprised me in India is how friendly people are with babies. I don’t mean the “peek-a-boo” or the “goo goo gaa gaa” from a distance but outright picking up the baby, touching her hands, pinching her cheeks, etc. And the people who are so familiar range from the driver, to random people at the airport, to hotel staff from the guest relations representative to the travel agent to the chef to the attendants that clean the room, pick up the laundry, or bring room service. It was so alien to me at first but given that everyone does it, I am quickly gathering that this is the norm.
But I can’t say that Nikhitita doesn’t love all the attention. Almost as much as she loves putting things in her mouth is her love of people. She is unabashedly friendly to everyone she meets, with no discretion. It could be someone she has seen a hundred times or someone who she has seen for the first time. They both get her outstretched hand and ear to ear 6 toothed grin.
She has always been friendly, but in the U.S. although people always respond to her, their reaction is far more tempered. It is usually a wave or blown kiss, but from a cautious distance. The general demeanor in the U.S. is to be very wary of others’ personal space. I can still remember a time in the U.S. when I took my older daughter Sandrine to swim class. I intended to watch from the sidelines with Nikhitita but Sandrine refused to get into the water without me and by the second class I found myself in the pool with her. Nikhitita watched us contentedly from the side. However on one occasion she started crying and as I looked over to the side from the pool I was really surprised to see a woman pick her up. I quickly leaped out of the pool and made my way to them. The woman immediately handed Nikhitita to me and apologized profusely saying that she just felt bad that the baby was crying so much. This was the only time that a stranger had picked up or for that matter touched Nikhitita without my permission in the U.S. Of course there had been countless incidents in grocery stores, or the park, or the library where she “flirted” with others and they responded back but always with a look, or a gesture, or a word, but absolutely never a touch.
In our almost three weeks in India more strangers have reached out their hands to Nikhitita than had over the course of her entire life to date in the U.S. Needless to say, I am usually running after her with my little bottle of Purell hand sanitizer. I used to do this in the U.S. and I still do it in India. But what is it that we are so used to protecting ourselves from in the U.S.? Yes, hand sanitizer is there to protect us from germs when we don’t have immediate access to water and some good old fashioned soap. But I feel like the general reluctance in the U.S. to “touch” a stranger or invade their personal space comes less from a desire to keep things sanitary but more a desire to protect ourselves from others who we know nothing about and are taught to imagine the worst about. In the U.S., from the time they can understand, we indoctrinate our children not to talk to strangers or take things from them. All strangers are perceived as “unsafe”. Indians behave more like Nikhitita in that their view of strangers is positive, as nothing has tainted their opinions of them so far. Having grown up in the U.S., I know that I can’t go back to feeling this way. Sadly, once that innocence is lost there is no going back.
posted by Danakka @ 8:44 AM
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