Goggles

January 22, 2006

One of the biggest challenges for families is juggling work and home, especially with kids. Even though I have not worked since Nikhitita was born, it is still rough. Sandrine is at school for part of the day but it still wears on me as Bob puts in long hours at work. In our life in the U.S. Bob generally used to drop Sandrine off at school at 8:30 and I would pick her up at 11:45. Three days of the week I would shuttle her to other activities such as music, gym, or science class. And on Saturdays Bob would take her to tot soccer. The rest of the time she was with me. I also took care of Nikhitita all day since she was not in day care. Frankly, one of the biggest attractions about spending a year in India was to get some help with the kids. We had heard so much about maids taking care of children though our friends living in South Asia that when we were interviewing maids we cared much more about whether she could handle kids than their proficiency in cooking or cleaning. Although the maids we interviewed had written references, many of these were from expats who were no longer living in India. The whole process was definitely less formal than in the U.S. where we had checked whether Sandrine’s family daycare was licensed and talked to numerous references for peace of mind before enrolling her there.

Anyway, the maid that we finally selected had been with me for a few days when I decided to let her take care of Nikhitita for half an hour. I made sure to choose a time when Sandrine was still at school so that she could devote her full attention to the baby. I was a little apprehensive and made sure that a few of Nikhitita’s favorite toys were around as well as a stack of biscuits. I was going to use this time to swim, which is one of the ways that I energize myself and relax.

Today I was not as relaxed as usual as I swam back and forth counting laps. It was as if with each turn of my head to the side to breathe a new question crossed my uneasy mind. Is Nikhitita okay? Will the maid make sure that she doesn’t put things in her mouth? What if Nikhitita cries? There were three others on the side of the pool. One was the lifeguard and I waved to one of the other two as I took a short break on the deep side. She didn’t return the gesture and so I continued on with the next lap and the next till my half hour was up. I tried to wave twice more but could not solicit a response.

As soon as I finished my final lap, I leaped out of the pool, perched my goggles on top of my head, wrapped my towel around my waist and hurried to a white concrete bench that directly overlooked the pool. Nikhitita looked at me from her stroller quizzically, still looking blankly at me. I yanked off my goggles and swim cap and shaking my matted hair out knelt down and brought my face closer to hers. Finally, Nikhitita beamed at me. Her outstretched hand clutched a soggy half-eaten biscuit showing what few teeth she had. The maid looked at me and smiled, “she did not recognize you.” They had only been a few feet from me the whole time I was swimming. The entire time that I had been swimming, she did not even know it was me. Clearly she had been enjoying her biscuits and contentedly playing with the maid thinking that I wasn’t around. Maybe next time I’ll be as comfortable being away from Nikhitita as she clearly was being away from me!